I looked within me-
With much aplomb but without remuneration-
Like the Bedouin woman reading our coffee cups
In the formal living room of an arabesque princess.
Looking to the future
I found you.
But I was young and stupid
you were older and stupider
So we led each other on a merry dance
Each too proud to admit the other
All dances end when the music dies.
And so ours did,
With acrimony and recriminations.
Some months later
In the spirit of the first of September
You said sorry
I said why now
You said why not
We shook hands
To the world we were friends
To each other we were sparring partners
Somewhere I remember making the decision to be just friends
Anything more would risk friendship
So we stayed friends
Through the arduous months and the halcyon days that together welded into years that went by too quick
You were the friend who made me laugh through a haze of tears when the he-of-the-day flouted my dreamy delight
You were the friend that was subjected to my attempt at playing Emma
You were the sound of reason in my flights of giddy anticipation
I looked into myself
Like the Bedouin woman who read our coffee cups all those years ago
The future is a series of tomorrows that doesn’t offer episode recaps to prepare me
My direction is not so clear, I just move with the spirit of the time
But like that Bedouin woman who read our coffee cups
I looked within me
And I found you.
It’s always been you.
I must still be young and stupid.