… I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean- except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff- I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy.
J D Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
November really has pounced on me, in another ten days, or so, I’m trying my best to veer away from a countdown, I’ll be twenty five years old. I don’t usually make a big deal out of the years stacking up against me, the difference is often so negligible I blissfully ignore it. I keep saying a person is only as old as they think they are. I don’t feel old, but a whole twenty five years is overwhelming, I feel unworthy.
A child is born to the world every minute but my own world feels like a giant tote bag tilted precariously on its head by a rummaging old woman searching for an elusive amex card. I have more friends but fighting for space in the crowd feels lonelier. I read less but I profess to know more. I have so much to be grateful for but I want more. I concur with Bertrand Russell in that, ‘To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness’, but I haven’t had the epiphany to sit comfortably and contentedly with my present set of sullied circumstances and smile through it which is a direct contradiction to everything I’ve been telling myself these past months.
There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life,
Is bound in shallows and in miseries;
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current as it serves,
Or lose our ventures.
Brutus in Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare
8 replies on “Finding the moron in oxymoron”
>gauri, shukran 😉
nooj, you are certainly the queen of curious imagery 😛
you’re right though, there’s alot to look forward to iA.
wip, :)exactly.
crimson, the best advice yet 😛 I met an old man today, certifiably geriatric, who let me know he’s having a second childhood and quite happy about it too.
saaleha, a mate recently visited his university campus, intent on reliving old days and came back saying, ‘there’s only kids on campus!’
:p spawning brats would definitely be the rubber stamp of grownupness
here’s hoping the murkiness clears.
azra,thank you for the advice and the empathy, but une grande merci especially for being a year older 😛
sam, we’re doing the panto, it’ll be celebration enough. 😉
>What date?:)We should have a worthy celebration
>Being 26, and somewhat older and wiser (LMAO) …let me say when i turned 25 I was depressed. I thought I would have accomplished so many things by 25 and I wasn’t even half-way on my to-do list.
Then a couple of months and a few 5HTP bottles later, I realised that I may not have accomplished what I expected or set out to…but I did a whole lot of other stuff I had no intention of doing. So in essence, I’m only a partial failure not a complete one.
Being 26 is even worse for me…I still pretend I’m 25. Its like you’re over the hill now…but take it as it comes. I know I didnt want to be here at this age…but watch me make lemonade 😀
>25 does feel a bit ‘big’ doesn’t it? it isn’t really, i don’t quite know when it happens that we actually start feeling ‘adult’.
maybe when we spawn brats, i’ll have to ask my parent friends.
but 25 is a good solid age, it’s when things start making sense, most of the time:)
>heya :)what a lovely post to read 🙂
come i let you in on a little secret…. shhhhhhhh
though 25 is that age which places you halfway to 50. it is also that age where you just about break through the farmers fence. and if you tread wisely (as wisdom is given to you with age) you can make that journey a childhood again, so much so that when you actually reach 50, you’re only halfway to 25 😉
lol
and nooj, when will you stop watching those indian movies 😛
>I just had a birthday so I know this feeling a little too well. I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be at 23 and I don’t know if I’ll ever get there or if I even want to anymore. But being a year older only seems to make things more complicated if that’s even possible.
>when even quotes can’t capture the feeling of a jugular vein being ripped out with a nail clipper
sorry watched a really gory movie recently
Kay be delighted. your life’s just beginning (pAris!) 🙂
>I know how you feel.
A pre-happy birthday though for the worthwhile Khadija 🙂
It’s ridiculous how birthday’s tend to remind you of what you’re missing.