Categories
Getting Personal

The middle of the road

Standing in the middle of the road, not a child playing innocently, but an adult, an adult woman, standing in the middle of the road, searching absently for the space to take the step, that one pivotal step that assures a passage to other end of the road. It’s not middle age, at least at twenty four, I’d hope it isn’t. It is mediocrity. It’s indifference from the greater world, damnation to a place of sameness. It’s standing in the middle of the road, paralysed into a submissive stupor while the spectre of larger lives zooms past you, silently threatening all the while to knock you over.

 

Categories
Getting Personal

South Africa–My huisie by die see

Language, the code behind which we rally to forge out an identity. Language, the code, against which we rally,its derision of that identity. No more so than in the multi-cultural, multilingual hodgepodge that South Africa is language a more a sensitive issue. June 16th, a national holiday in South Africa, Youth Day. We commemorate the heroism of the Soweto youth in 1976, who protested against the compulsion of an Afrikaans-medium curriculum. To a generation not born at the time, not quite fully understanding the impact of what has become an Apocalypse of history, we are haunted by the spectre of Hecter Peterson and indeed, others like him.

I found myself in the curious position of having to tutor Afrikaans today, Youth day, to the daughter of Paskistani immigrants. The irony has afforded a somewhat less affable understanding of the present. June 16, 2008, South Africa is now the unwitting home of an ever-growing immigrant population, a population who we have denied the very freedoms Hecter Peterson died for.

In Culture and Imperialism, Edward Said writes,

 

Appeals to the past are among the commonest of strategies in interpretations of the present. What animates such appeals is not only disagreement about what happened in the past and whether the past really is past, over and concluded, or whether it continues, albeit in different forms, perhaps. This problem animates all sorts of discussions-about influence, about blame and judgement, about present actualities and future priorities.

 

 

(Said, 1994: 1)

 

We fail to realise that history is not neat. It is not a neat procession of events tucked away in a textbook. We are the products of history. This, the present circumstances, sullied and imperfect, it may well be, is the product of our history. We may look back to lay the blame for the imperfection on the colonialists and Aphartheid, or we may look back to learn, and take a step forward.

 

 

As I explained to my incredulous student, who has the name Benazir to live up to by the way, I am quite taken by the following poem. It may well be in Afrikaans, a language that will for a long time be tainted for being the tongue of Apartheid, but Afrikaans itself is uniquely African. While others continue to look at Africa as the other, the Dark Continent that affords no hope to its peoples and still others have rushed to point South Africa as no less mismanaged as any other state in Africa in the aftermath of the xenophobic riots. But surely the very presence of these immigrants indicate that South Africa is something of a beacon of hope in Africa. Indeed we have not acquited ourselves well these past weeks but as this poem describes a little house by the sea, being ravaged by the darkness of night, the unrelenting anger of the ocean against the rocks it is built upon and the merciless wind that is like a lost soul that finds no rest, I see South Africa, there, a little house by the sea. Battered and bruised, indeed, but deep inside, a fire roars, warming the heart, and a little candle (no thanks to Eskom :p) gives its light.

Ek het ‘n huisie by die see
H.A. Fagan

Ek het ‘n huisie by die see. Dis nag.
Ek hoor aaneen, aaneen die golwe slaan
teenaan die rots waarop my huisie staan
met al die oseaan se woeste krag.

Ek hoor die winde huil-‘n kreun, ‘n klag,
soos van verlore siele in hul nood
al dwalend, klagend, wat in graf en dood
geen rus kan vind nie, maar nog soek en smag.
My vuurtjie brand, my kersie gee sy lig.
Ek hoor dan meer hoe loei die storm daar buite,
ek hoor hoe ruk die winde aan my ruite.
Hier binne is dit veilig, warm en dig.

Kom nag, kom weer en wind, kom oseaan
Dit is ‘n rots waarop my huisie staan.

Categories
Getting Personal

Pandas doing lunch

 

Getting together for an afternoon chat.
Categories
Getting Personal Quoting Others

Dream Life/Real Life

 

We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way,
love conquers all,
that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe,
And at the 11th hour,
something gloriously triumphant will
prevent the worst before it happens.
Justin Brooks Atkinson
Years ago, during a drive through Pretoria, as it was, I watched, fascinated, as throngs of people braved inclement weather to file into the nearest corner store, to buy lottery tickets for what was at the time, a record jackpot. Inside the car, meanwhile, my uncle and aunt speculated merrily on what they would do with such a loot. I listened, intently, not contributing, until my uncle noticed my silence, and mistaking me for being disapproving, said, ‘It’s dreams that keep people sane, it’s what keeps us all going’.
His words have stayed with me, perhaps mainly, as I later realised, for it being an insight into who I am.
Dream life and Real life, the title of an Olive Schreiner short story, that I studied in high school, resonates with me. I sometimes feel that my dreams amount to a second life, almost, but I know as well, that it is the dream life that makes this grind mill of a real life easier to negotiate.
More than the light at the end of the tunnel, it is the hope for the light, the sheer want for it, that forces us to trudge through the dark.
.